I’ve come a long way, baby!!!

Well, you’ve probably noticed I’ve been gone for a while. Two months to be exact. I’ve been really depressed for three months, and then it just got worse. The past two months have been unbearable. I felt like I couldn’t do anything. It was a very hopeless feeling. And, then it just got so bad that I was scared, so I went to the hospital.

I had a productive 6 day stay. I feel like maybe, finally, my medication is the right cocktail. It’s been 6 1/2 years since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It’s normal for it to take 2-5 years to find a good balance in your medication. Atleast that is what I have read and heard. But 6 1/2!!! I was really starting to feel that my fate was cursed and I was never going to feel well for longer than 3 weeks again! I had lost all hope, and I was angry!

So, last Tuesday night, when my husband got home from work we went to the hospital. My parents had already picked up my two beautiful daughters and taken them home with them. So, we went to the nearest emergency room and waited. And, waited. And, waited. Chris actually had to go home and get some sleep, because he wakes up at 4am for work, and he really must work!

When all was told I was in the ER for 19 hours before they finally found a bed for me.

The bed was at another hospital…an hour away. So I had to be transported to the new hospital. And, I had to be transported by a…COP! I had to ride in the back of a cop car! There is really *no* leg room back there.  And, the worst part was that I had to be handcuffed the WHOLE time. I was terrified that I would see someone I knew, and they would think I had broken some law. But I definitely hadn’t! I was simply sick. I was simply suffering a brain malfunction!!

The best part about the stay was the therapy session I had on my last day. They were truly  encouraging, informative and helpful. I truly felt ready to go home and face the challenges of daily living.

The other best part was the connection I was able to make with people who are suffering with the very same illness as me! People who REALLY understood, and were willing to open up and enjoy our shared time together.

There’s nothing like good peer relationships. The support and help you get is unparalleled.

And, now my primary goal with discharge is to find a group therapy/class that I can go to as an out patient. Wish me luck!!

And, please be kind. I am pouring my heart out afterall!

Thanks Shell for sharing this link up every week.


20 Comments Add yours

  1. Peggy says:

    Yea, you are back. I hope it is often. I really miss your blog posts.

    1. I hope it is often, too. I’m going to try to blog everyday after lunch, during nap time.

      Thank you, it really means a lot to me that you read my blog, and that you like it!

  2. Liz says:

    Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you reached out for help.

    1. I am too, it was the best thing I could do for myself at the time! Thanks for stopping by, Liz.

  3. ayala says:

    Thanks for sharing and welcome back!

    1. Thanks, Ayala. It is good to be back!

    1. I am feeling a lot better. Thank you, Lady!

  4. Theresa Pressley says:

    Glad you are feeling better. I will look forward to reading your blogs. Best Wishes

    1. Wow, Theresa. Thanks! It’s great to know that you *want* to read more. I plan to write one today during nap time!

  5. “Sweet Caroline”
    So hoping and praying for the support group to be found. My MS support group has been good for me. Because like you said they can truly understand. I love you and am proud of these past few days what you have gotten accomplished!! Mom

    1. Thanks, GG! I hope and pray I find a support group, too!

  6. GG says:

    oops that was Caroline not GG Maybe I got it right now. GG

    1. Yep! You’re right now!

  7. So glad that you got some support. Hope you are feeling better! xo

    1. I am feeling better, Shell. A LOT better. Now my prayer is that it will last for a long time!

  8. pattisj says:

    I’m so glad to see you posting! I’ve thought of you, and wondered, and prayed. I’m so glad you were strong enough to seek help, and am glad you are feeling better. That must have been a terribly uncomfortable ride! Take care, sweetie!

    1. Oh, Patti, thank you so much for your prayers, and you sweet message. It really touches my heart! It was an awfully uncomfortable ride. But, I am hopeful now that we have finally find the right combination of treatments!

  9. It is good to see you are back. I have been worried about your absence and have been praying for you. I don’t suffer from bipolar disorder but I do suffer from depression so I at least understand a tip of your iceberg. I am here for you anytime you want to talk. Thanks for being open and sharing about your problems. Hugs, Mama Carmody

    1. Thanks so much, Karen, for the hugs and the prayers!! It’s really nice to know that someone will be there when I need it.

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