Well, you’ve probably noticed I’ve been gone for a while. Two months to be exact. I’ve been really depressed for three months, and then it just got worse. The past two months have been unbearable. I felt like I couldn’t do anything. It was a very hopeless feeling. And, then it just got so bad that I was scared, so I went to the hospital.
I had a productive 6 day stay. I feel like maybe, finally, my medication is the right cocktail. It’s been 6 1/2 years since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It’s normal for it to take 2-5 years to find a good balance in your medication. Atleast that is what I have read and heard. But 6 1/2!!! I was really starting to feel that my fate was cursed and I was never going to feel well for longer than 3 weeks again! I had lost all hope, and I was angry!
So, last Tuesday night, when my husband got home from work we went to the hospital. My parents had already picked up my two beautiful daughters and taken them home with them. So, we went to the nearest emergency room and waited. And, waited. And, waited. Chris actually had to go home and get some sleep, because he wakes up at 4am for work, and he really must work!
When all was told I was in the ER for 19 hours before they finally found a bed for me.
The bed was at another hospital…an hour away. So I had to be transported to the new hospital. And, I had to be transported by a…COP! I had to ride in the back of a cop car! There is really *no* leg room back there. And, the worst part was that I had to be handcuffed the WHOLE time. I was terrified that I would see someone I knew, and they would think I had broken some law. But I definitely hadn’t! I was simply sick. I was simply suffering a brain malfunction!!
The best part about the stay was the therapy session I had on my last day. They were truly encouraging, informative and helpful. I truly felt ready to go home and face the challenges of daily living.
The other best part was the connection I was able to make with people who are suffering with the very same illness as me! People who REALLY understood, and were willing to open up and enjoy our shared time together.
There’s nothing like good peer relationships. The support and help you get is unparalleled.
And, now my primary goal with discharge is to find a group therapy/class that I can go to as an out patient. Wish me luck!!
And, please be kind. I am pouring my heart out afterall!
Thanks Shell for sharing this link up every week.